When I started practicing tai chi 11 years ago, I didn’t know what a profound effect it would have on my life. I’m an introvert that has always loved being in nature. Practicing taichi by myself and getting into the zone in a natural setting deepened an awareness and a feeling of resonance with my environment. I feel more part of nature and not just an outside appreciator of it.
What has surprised me is that after a while that feeling of connection started happening with people. I have never been a people person but at 50 years old I had found my tribe. Taichi brings people together that would ordinarily never meet. I have friends that I have nothing in common with but have formed a bond and connection with through taichi.
There is a lot to learn about a person when practicing taichi with them. I find that peoples physicality when practicing forms can reflect their inner self. They might be physically stiff and mentally tense and uptight, physically fluid and mentally relaxed, physically shakey and a mental wreck. The way people share their taichi also tells a lot about them. Some need to be the experts, some just want more information, some don’t like being told how to do things, some just want to have fun. It all expresses so much of their personality.
Push hands connections are made the same way as in form work but magnified. I once had an instructor tell me, after I complained to her about how I always lose at push hands, that I was more into the ‘conversation’ rather than actually winning. I do enjoy getting to know someone through push hands. There was once a woman in a class that I had just started teaching that I didn’t like. She was aggressive and mean. I was showing the class the basics of push hands and went over to push with her so that she could feel the difference between pushing a person that was rooted vs a person that was unrooted. When I let this largish, girthy woman push me while I was unrooted, I started to fall back. It was a strong push. Her eyes opened very wide, and she lunged forward, grabbed me and pulled me back like I was about to go over the edge of a cliff. It said volumes about who she really was. On the outside she was a mean and hateful person but on the inside she was really a very good person who was afraid of her own power and absolutely didn’t want to harm anyone. It was a people learning experience for me that I will never forget.
There was another person, a man that ran a church back east that had come to California to take private lessons from my teacher. He also came to some of our regular classes to practice push hands with other students. I avoided him. He seemed arrogant and like someone that I just didn’t want to get to know. Near the end of his stay we ended up pushing together. It was one of the most enjoyable push hands sessions I had had up to that point and I deeply regret not pushing with him more. He was just such a nice nice person.
I’ve also pushed hands with people that pushed like a clammy fish hand shake. Ick. I instantly want to dis-connect with this kind of energy.
I’ve pushed with people that only wanted to express their power over me. I usually dissolve any possibility of connection with that kind of person. I don’t have any room for that.
I once pushed with a person where the connection was overwhelming and a little scary. I very openly let this person, very openly let me connect with their energy. I can’t really describe in words what it was like. Since then I have learned to sometimes not be so completely open to this ‘conversation’ thing.
I now have friends in other states and whole other countries that I would never have met had it not been for tai chi. I have connected with people from doctors, lawyers and well known authors, philosophers and artists, to people that are basically indigent. We might not have anything else in common but when we meet, sometimes after years, there is a feeling of family connection. Even when I meet people for the first time and find out that they also know tai chi it’s like meeting an old friend.
~Jill